期末了,国内的学生党们又快要进入考试季了。
考试当然不是件多好玩的事儿。但是有些人,就把考试考出了神一样的风采……
上周,不少小伙伴都去考了大学英语四六级。
作为每年两次、大学生人人可参与(有些学校禁止大一参加)的英语考试,四六级——可能是你这辈子唯一一次和全国同龄人考一样题目的考试了……
(毕竟高考还分区域呢~)
可是呢,上大学之后除了语言专业,很少有学生会专门再和英语打交道。虽然英语依旧是许多专业的必修课,但……你懂的。
于是,每年的四六级考试题目,就成了许多英语基础一般的小伙伴们的噩梦……
比方说,今年的三套四级翻译,分别长这样……
“华山版”:
“黄山版”:
“泰山版”:
……出卷老师是多热爱名山大川啊!
而到了六级的翻译,“山”又变成了……
……我算是明白今年“上午四级爬山,下午六级投湖”的梗是哪儿来的了。
遇上这样令人泪流满面的题目,考生们当然也不能直接泪流满面一通算了。再写不出来,胡编乱造也得写啊!填满版面是俺们的优良传统!
好吧,那么来感受下各地考生的发挥……
(via@微博搞笑排行榜)
@大饼学弟:泰山写了Mountain Tai,结果唱了起来,Mountain Tai,就跟着一起来
@牛排不吃牛排:不孕不育:make love everyday but no baby 。。。
@杨不萌酱:把“温泉”翻译成gulugulu water,我就知道这次又凉了
@刘昭LikeEntrepreneur:企业家:Someone like MaYun
@ZimorLee:相交点 banana point
@西喜呀:朝拜 go to see GuanYin
@Already-97:鸟的栖息地:bird’s bedroom
@叫我不良呀:son of sky 天之骄子
@养猫的狮子座:怦然心动: make my heart peng peng peng~~~~
@梨树妖:怦然心动不应该是make your heart boom shaka laka么
@恶婆婆黑暗进化:前两天看到的一个,叩首:let your head duang duang duang on the ground
@走乖:淡水湖 no salt hu
@LittleBigTown:药草真的不是medicine grass???
@我说安安你说瘦:葬礼the party of death
真坟头蹦迪
@五秒男:我朋友翻译的机动车是“exciting cars”,循环利用“use again and again”
@-蒋委:Mountain tai is wa oh……
Wa oh个头啊……
说到这个,主页君不由想起了自己很多年前的某次英语考试里,出现了“奶粉”这个单词。
当时根本不知道“奶粉”的英文是啥的我,灵机一动,写了个……
milk dust
……不知道阅卷老师看到的时候,内心会不会有neng死我的冲动。
考场如戏场啊……
每个人从小到大,都要参加无数次考试。大到中考高考,小到月考模拟测验,可谓是身经百战。
但是,在考场这样一个神奇的环境里,往往会出现一些令人哭笑不得的事情……
在国外网站reddit上,就有人问了这样一个问题:
▲你在考试中做过最喜感的事是什么?
来看看网友们的回答……
@Jux_:
My college roommate took a summer class to get his grades up and sometimes I would be bored and go with him. It was early American history, pretty interesting stuff, and the professor was solid so it wasn't a bad way to kill a few hours. → 室友申请了暑假课程,有时候也陪他一起去上上
Any way, the third time I did this was actually an exam day. Now I had two options: walk out and force an awkward interaction along the lines of "yeah I know I've been here a few times and even spoke up in class but I'm not actually enrolled" or I could buckle down and take the exam. → 某次继续陪他去上课,突然发现这堂课是考试!我是赶紧走人呢,还是坐下来瞎考一回?
So I took the exam. I wrote on the first page on the Blue Book "hey, I'm not actually in your class, but I didn't want to walk out, so you shouldn't waste your time grading this but I'm going to give it 100%." → 我决定考!然后,我在试卷第一页上写下了:Hey, 我其实没选这门课,但我也不想就这么走出去,不过您不用浪费时间来给我打分啦~但我自己会全力以赴的嘿嘿~
My roommate came back from class a few days later and told me "the kid not actually in the class" got the fifth highest grade. → 之后,选了这门课的室友告诉我,我这个“没选这门课的小盆友”的分数是全班第五高的……
那……那室友自己考了多少分呢……
@NebulaNinja:
States and capitals test. I had no clue what the capital of Alabama was and my best guess was "Sweet home." The teacher was not amused. → 有次考试,问阿拉巴马州的首府是哪。我努力地填了个“甜蜜的家”。不过并没有打动老师。
@insanetwit:
My last high school exam was a creative writing exam. All semester I kept bringing in a Coke to drink in the class. It was a running thing, me and a bottle of Coke. → 创造性写作课,整个学期我每次都会带瓶可乐去上课。
so my teacher asks me a week before the exam, If I'm going to bring a coke to class. I look at her and say "This is my last exam and I'm free of this place! I'm going to wear a tie, and have a case of Coke!" She laughed, but sure enough, when the day came, I sat at my desk with a 24 of coke. (and my "Sunday Best" as they say) → 考试当天,我华丽地搬了一箱可乐过去,整整24瓶!
the fun part is, she came to me several times because other students in the class wanted a Coke. → 结果那天,老师好几次过来找我,问我要可乐……因为其他的同学也想喝可乐
边喝可乐边考试,那感觉美美哒……
@linkpunch:
Question was, "What is a vigilante?" → 问:“联防队员”(义务警员)是什么?
Answer that I wrote was "A vigilante is a self-appointed law enforcer, such as Batman." → 我答:就是蝙蝠侠那种啊~
Still got full marks. My History teacher was great. → 得了满分!历史老师棒棒哒!
@PM_TITS_IM_HORNY:
I ate a Subway sandwich and then fell asleep because I usually take naps after I eat and I just couldn't stay awake. → 考试时吃了个三明治,睡着了……因为我一般吃完饭后都会昏昏欲睡的……
The sandwich was great, my exam grade was not. → 嗯……三明治挺好吃的,但是考试挂科了
@ Nogsbar:
I was doing a french tape test in school. The question was about what instrument the boy played. I heard nothing. I wrote "tuning Fork." → 一个录音考试,题目问小男孩演奏的乐器是什么。而我什么都没听到。所以……我写了个“音叉”
@increasingrain:
On one of the questions I had no idea. I wrote down a number. Afterwards, I wrote "assume this is the right answer." → 有个题目写不出来,我就瞎填了个数字。然后来了句:假设这是正确答案。
好吧,你们连考试都这么“佛”的吗……
考试过程中,当然会发生许多有趣的事儿,可以给咱那惨不忍睹的分数增添一点光彩。(有吗?
)
但是,有些神奇的人,注定是连试还没去考,就已经惊艳众生了……
来看看下面这位……
@明还_:
哈哈哈哈我可能要笑死!!段子一样的事情就在今天发生了!!!
我一个师兄报名计算机考试,因为证件照一直上传不成功,所以作死换了张表情包发上去……
结果改不了了,打电话给考试委员会,得到的回复是“同学 我们只能给你换一个方向呢”……
然后最后就成了这样……
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈简直今年最佳,我笑了快五分钟了!!!!
面对这样的神级操作,有网友也不甘示弱,搬出了……
@济南砍王:
好吧……你们赢了!